Shared Host , Reliable Mysql

I know there are a million "looking for cheap shared hosting" threads. Hopefully my particular values/interests justify a new one.

I'm a (mostly PHP/MySQL/CMS) web developer, using Dreamhost for years (perhaps DH was better back then) to host staging/development sites for clients (once I've developed a client site, I usually make them get their own host somewhere more reliable), as well as for low-traffic sites, transferring files, etc.

What I don't like about Dreamhost:

a) SLOW. my guess is this is 25% web server overselling, and 75% MySQL server overselling. My simple sites are tolerably slow - including lightweight php/mysql sites (textpattern CMS, etc.) - BUT my Drupal and Silverstripe and ZenCart experiments are intollerable (5+ second page loads).

b) funny ownership policies - I can't (easily) create a client FTP user that is restricted to one of my subfolders. Each user = exclusive file/folder ownership.
c) not much else. I seem to get a-little-too-frequent DNS problems/outages, and used to get a-little-too-frequent server lock-ups... but I don't expect perfection from a cheap host. And of course I send my mail through google apps, I wouldn't trust a cheap host with my mail.

What I like about Dreamhost:

a) the control panel functionality. Yes, it's ugly, but god it does a lot of nice stuff that cPanel doesn't (and frankly, cPanel is usually ugly too).

b) the usual: a very low price for unlimited domains, unlimited mySQL, and huge storage.

So, who is my next low-cost host?

a) Interested in MySQL performance/protection - perhaps hosts that put MySQL [and mail] on separate servers, like DH, but don't overload them!?! Do I need to worry about this?

b) I wouldn't mind moving to a reseller account

c) I'd like a progressive control panel; I have clients on medialayer - who use directadmin (nice) - but their pricing structure is a bit tight on domains/db/storage. [As an aside, medialayer provides excellent shared hosting performance/value/support, if you don't need a lot of domains/db/storage]

d) I'd like to stay in the $10-20ish a month range